So the relationship between me and one of my great loves is no more. We are still friends mind you, but not lovers. Too be honest, we have gone through quite a bit of stuff over the past few years from discontentment to mental breakdowns and it was also long distance. I can say without much fuss that I expected this break to happen. I am, for the most part, fine with it. Which feels weird to me because when we would break up in earlier times(often but never for long) I would feel like my world was ending.
I am never the one who breaks it off and this time was no different. What is different however is that I am not trying to change her mind even passively. Haven’t gone out of my way to communicate, haven’t mentioned that I still love her(not that I don’t, cause I do), haven’t let any strong terms of endearment slip. I have for all intents and purposes evolved from a constant to a responsive acquaintance. And the amusing thing is that where, just but a few months ago I was struggling for some conversation, now she tries to speak with me pretty often. I find it laughable to be honest. The long distance was always a huge obstacle for us, especially her. She never really ‘got’ how to deal with it. But, apparently when I am truly ‘distant’ she can’t seem to pull away. Fascinating.