Being distant is irresistable

So the relationship between me and one of my great loves is no more.  We are still friends mind you, but not lovers.  Too be honest, we have gone through quite a bit of stuff over the past few years from discontentment to mental breakdowns and it was also long distance.  I can say without much fuss that I expected this break to happen.  I am, for the most part, fine with it.  Which feels weird to me because when we would break up in earlier times(often but never for long) I would feel like my world was ending.

I am never the one who breaks it off and this time was no different.  What is different however is that I am not trying to change her mind even passively.  Haven’t gone out of my way to communicate, haven’t mentioned that I still love her(not that I don’t, cause I do), haven’t let any strong terms of endearment slip.  I have for all intents and purposes evolved from a constant to a responsive acquaintance.  And the amusing thing is that where,  just but a few months ago I was struggling for some conversation, now she tries to speak with me pretty often.  I find it laughable to be honest.  The long distance was always a huge obstacle for us, especially her.  She never really ‘got’ how to deal with it.  But, apparently when I am truly ‘distant’ she can’t seem to pull away.  Fascinating.

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