Everything is happening all at once!

wtf

He just opened the door to my life

The government decrease their level of tertiary funding so now my university fees have quadrupled and I am not sure if I will be able to go back this semester. I have a week to figure something out and the desperation is leading me down paths I do not want to talk. Nothing illegal, though I have thought about it. Just very immoral, even for me. Sigh.

I’ve also gained weight. I am unsure where it came from though. I think I put it on when I had a short stint in the gym this year, but who knows. After drinking and eating myself to my now personal record of 166.8 lbs I am now trying to get back into my regular exercise.

My back is hurting me again. Don’t know the reason this time. It’s also in a different area. I jumped on the workout bandwagon the other night and couldn’t do eight push ups before I had to stop because of the discomfort. Since Monday I have been doing yoga before some light exercises. I think it is working. Slowly (very, almost infinitesimally), but surely.

My love life is imploding. Earlier this year I managed to get almost all the complications down to a minimum. A few months ago it all ballooned. Now I am as in much a mess as I ever was. Maybe more. ¡Ay, caramba!

My sleep cycle is completely shot. Regularly going to sleep later than ever before and while I am getting the same hours as I always have, about 6 hrs give or take a half hour, I am not feeling as refreshed.

I miss her like crazy. The lovesick isn’t as bad as last year but she is in my head often enough to annoy me.

One good thing I have managed to do is consistently keep up with my Italian on the Duolingo site. I am happy about that.

Now to go to sleep and think on today’s crazy events. Lord help me.

Hope life is going better for everyone else!

Ciao.

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But I don’t wanna!

I am a member of one of the political party branches for my constituency and today my branch is putting on a workshop about cancer. And the president just informed me that I will be doing the vote of thanks.

Image

But why?!? I have said often enough I don’t like talking that much so why does she keep insisting that I do? Stupse. Sigh.

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Perhaps if I mention it here…

somedayHiho. My name is Dre and I am a procrastinator. Right now I should be studying for a test I have tomorrow but I am just meandering down the information highway with no sense of direction. So I thought I would pop in and talk about it in the hopes that it would somehow get me going.

As a side note my neck is still fine and I have increased the volume in my workouts as of this week. Goal for this month is to handstand for 30 seconds. Currently, I can get off a second or three? But, that is more luck than strength. I am actively working towards that now. Maybe having short term goals that are more than just being able to do more push ups will keep me from falling off the wagon. Anywhoo…

Pic  of me back

Getting back (get it?) into it.

Off to do some work!

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What a year…

So 2013 has come and gone. Truly it was probably the most enlightening year I have ever had. I learned alot about myself. I did well and poorly (well in comparison) in school. I found the greatest love I ever knew and lost it in the most abrupt manner. Got back on the writing wagon and fell off again so many times. Same thing with exercise but I was more consistent with that. Even started learning a new language. It really was an extraordinary year.

With so many ups and downs… (and boy were those downs like, way down there) one would think I was glad to see 2013 fade away into nothingness. Truthfully I am glad for every experience I had. 2013 showed me so much. I look at life differently now, that’s how much I have changed. To be fair not every change is totally positive. I am somewhat jaded now but along with that I am much more aware of those around me. I sincerely appreciate that.

On a good note, I am exercising again. No, it isn’t a resolution. I stopped making those things eons ago. If you want to do something don’t wait til the turn of the year. Get in gear and do it. Sometimes waiting for a perfect time leads to a tomorrow that never comes. Anyway, I went to hard at my workouts last year and seemed to have pulled a muscle in my neck that put me out of commission for two months. I resume exercising cause I was tired of not doing anything. The neck seems to be holding up for now.

I made an anime music video. I have been waiting for years til I got a computer with the right amount of processing power and a hard drive with enough space to hold all the episodes I wanted. Frig that. I used an external hard drive (isn’t mine but it has been knocking around here in disuse for almost a year) and I don’t mind waiting the extra time it takes for the video to process. This is what I came up with.

Hopefully now that I have blogged about it, I’ll feel guilted into writing some more stuff. This is my favourite short story I wrote. Be forewarned, it’s only 110 words so it is the definition of short.

I have a few tough decisions to make this year. Some I would rather not have to deal with, but I guess that all comes with getting older. Hmm… I have forgotten how I wanted to end this post but no matter, I think I have said plenty.

Here is to 2014 and I wish the best for all of you!

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Being distant is irresistable

So the relationship between me and one of my great loves is no more.  We are still friends mind you, but not lovers.  Too be honest, we have gone through quite a bit of stuff over the past few years from discontentment to mental breakdowns and it was also long distance.  I can say without much fuss that I expected this break to happen.  I am, for the most part, fine with it.  Which feels weird to me because when we would break up in earlier times(often but never for long) I would feel like my world was ending.

I am never the one who breaks it off and this time was no different.  What is different however is that I am not trying to change her mind even passively.  Haven’t gone out of my way to communicate, haven’t mentioned that I still love her(not that I don’t, cause I do), haven’t let any strong terms of endearment slip.  I have for all intents and purposes evolved from a constant to a responsive acquaintance.  And the amusing thing is that where,  just but a few months ago I was struggling for some conversation, now she tries to speak with me pretty often.  I find it laughable to be honest.  The long distance was always a huge obstacle for us, especially her.  She never really ‘got’ how to deal with it.  But, apparently when I am truly ‘distant’ she can’t seem to pull away.  Fascinating.

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I promise to do better!

Alright so school is really starting to kick in and I find the somewhat good, but  still sorely lacking studying habits I started off with last semester have totally regressed into full on delinquency.  I am going to start blogging about it and after every each post I am going to go scurry off and do some work.  I feel more urgency to blog than do work and I feel the need to stick to what I say after I post it so this should work in my favour.

[edit]This was from 5 months back.  Perhaps if I had posted this I wouldn’t have failed a course.  Ahh boy…

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Woke up early this morning, smiled with the rising sun…

‘Music has been proven to improve brain function and organization in both children and adults.  Music also stimulates the brain’s memory function.’

I guess this is why it’s easier to remember something if you can link to a song in some way.

‘Memories triggered by scent have a stronger emotional connection than those triggered by other senses.’

And, considering the women whom I remember most fondly this seems legit.

Anyway.  Just random brain facts I happened to stumble across.

Exams are finished for me and my sleep pattern is messed up.  It was messed up to begin with but, now it’s just entirely whacked.  Falling sleep early, which for me means waking in the the middle of the night numerous times or just waking up super early.

I had something to talk about today but, alack and alas, I cannot recall it now.  So I will just ramble.

As I woke up this before 5am this morning, I had an opportunity to glimpse the first few rays of sunlight coming up over the rooftops.

Sunrise in Barbados

And proceeded to take pictures til half an hour later>.<

On to something else…

It’s weird being as logical as I am.  Or at the very least, it can be somewhat counter-productive.  I kinda touched on this in my first post so I shall use it as an example.  I may be doing something negative.  Let’s say, leaving an important to be done later.  I know this is bad, but even I think this, right after I explain it all away by saying that I work better under pressure anyway.  Which is silly.  And I know it, but the logic!

I think people do this in general but I do it for everything.  Another example would be movies.  A movie could be fine and one small thing could happen that I would find totally preposterous within the confines of that particular story and the whole thing would be colored toilet brown in my eyes.  Case in point.  Avengers movie.  Hawkeye, randomly shooting a Chitauri without looking(or an explanation on how he did it) and Captain America getting involved in the fight between Thor and Iron Man.  Especially the former.  The saving grace here though is that I recognize I do this and I can generally still enjoy a movie once something isn’t blatantly retarded or if the rest of the film makes up for it.

And something else!(Would you believe this is how I carry on conversations?)

I like rap and hip hop.  I like other genres of music but that is my niche.  I have come to realize that for some time now, I have been listening to older music from the the early 2000s and 90s than I have current music.  My niece would have me believe that it’s just that I am getting old but I think it’s just that big rap stars of today are simply ass.  Complete ass.  My main gripe is why do Lil Wayne and Nicki Minaj get so much forward?  Usually it sounds like both of them cut lines out of a magazine and stuck them together like a serial murderer?  Is that the metaphor?  Are they killing hip hop?  Smirking in the dark somewhere?  Anyhow that’s a talk for another day.

Enjoy your Sunday.

P.S If you see any really weird grammar it might be dialect.  Ask about it and learn some Bajan!=)

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